Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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