I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
