Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
