Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
