I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize
