i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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