i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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