after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
