are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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