Non-Jews are for practice
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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