its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
