I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
