I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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