I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
