Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
