it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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