Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The power of my boobs compel you
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
