she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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