remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
