Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
