I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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