Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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