We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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