Just cropdusted the office
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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