areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
