So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
this is an emotional support booty call
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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