yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
