Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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