belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
