those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
