Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
