Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
