theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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