My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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