He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
