we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
