Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
