how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
