he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
