There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think weed is turning my hair brown
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
