I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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