quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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