Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
