Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
