I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
someone owes me an orgasm
We got so high we made milksteak
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
