i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
