Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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