Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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