I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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