when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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