he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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