You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wear drunk well.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
