youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
